Priorities

Its been a ride from The Lagoon to The River to The Sea. Each phase of my journey has been a sweet bitter memory. I will not say it was a horror reel but yes the journey is never easy and I am not expecting it to be anything smooth further.
There was a time when my world was toys and games. Envying and fighting for the toys the other kid had that she would not share with me the first day she got the toy.
Then it became the pimples that would sprout once in a blue moon. Dont mistake me I NEVER HAD PROBLEM WITH PIMPLES but it was not having them, that was my issue. I considered having pimples a sign of maturity. All teens had them except poor me.
Then came the boys. How to attract a boy was then my big on the list?
I wish I was again back to my childhood. Yes, I enjoyed enough that I dont have any regrets. I also had my share of problems. But it was a bliss to have childhood.
I have moved on from the lagoon to stream to river now. I find rowing through the river a little bit more hard than previously. I am in the process of building a ship or something for myself and, yes, now it includes my teeny tiny JoAnna. The Ever Busy Body. I am glad to have her for the ride. She makes my journey purposeful and less difficult.
See friend, the one thing you should know is that, this journey is not easy but if you have a straw to hold on for yourself, then grab on to it with your life. Let me tell you, that can make a difference.
I have not seen anyone without a refuge. I have seen many that deny that refuge. Life is a long-short journey. Collect as many jewels as you can in your path. Treasure them. Then when you dont have the energy to row on, go into the treasure box and pick each jewel one at a time and reminisce the good old days. As the fuel empties and your ship wear out you will gladly dissolve into the salt of the sea.
BON VOYAGE!!!!!!

Crazy Heart

Wish I had more control over my feelings. I see so many people with tough heart. Nothing affects them. They dont care about anything. "I dont care" is their attitude. Wish I was also like that. I am very sensitive though this is very short lived. I get hurt easily also become happy very fast. One bad thing about me is I can never forgive anyone sometimes that includes me. I make a mistake I will never ever forget it. Wish I was better.

I want to be someone with a dont care attitude. If someone is hurt I feel the hurt more than them. Thats bad. I have so much worries of my own to worry about.
We are all made differently, that should be the reason.
I dont like people who have no concern for others. Yet I am always meeting and socialising with such people. Its no more like school days where we have the choice to choose friends.

For some people, Any fault in their life has justification but in another its a crime. They keep complaining about things in their life but does not want a solution for their problem. I think they enjoy complaining. I have to admit I do complain but I take decisions to solve my problems. We should stop complaining and start making good decisions. Get over the bad and move towards the sun.

I hate gossip. If you come to me with complains about someone else I dont consider you a human. I am not interested in other persons life,including yours. You want to share your problems with me thats ok. I can also pray for your well being, but please dont come to talk about someone else. I dont want your opinion on the other person. I dont want to know his secrets. His marriage. Nothing. Even when I dont want to hear these, people keep saying things and I have to listen many times. Thank fully I have a gift, I only hear what I want to hear and keep only that in my memory.

I met a man who said there are so many fans for you. hhahahahaha...I really wanted to laugh out loud when he said that. Wish I was in college. If someone would have told me then these lines, I would have been on clouds. But now life has taught me better. I walk on burning coal. Everyday I am scared about tomorrow and having fans is something laughable.

From one of my experience what I learned is that you should be extremely cautious when talking to an Indian male brought up in India. Most of them associate everything with sex. I have not had this experience in talking with 100s of American men. They dont hide, if they like you they tell you and if they dont they again tell you. There is no inbetween.

Over all dont you think our heart is a crazy heart! I dont know what I would do without this crazy heart. Many colors it has that is making my life memorable.

Its been few days since I wrote something. I want to write about men and women. As kids female of the human species grow mentally faster than the men. A female child is more curious about sex than their male counterpart. Female matures faster than the male. That is the reason that many men in marriage are older than their wives. But age brings stagnation to the mental growth.
You must be wondering why I am writng this. I am always studying people around. and each day I learn new things.
Once women turn 30 plus they are more interested in care compassion and all those stuff than sex. But men of that age dont understand that language. If you smile at them they think its a sexual invitation. unfortunately they dont understand the woman psycology. A man of 40 generally would understand a woman of 38.