I am a person who falls in love easily. {is it? Not true you lied}
I live life with a passion. I love most things about my life.
My life at times sucks and I feel terrible and I may not know how to handle things at the moment. Then again I pick myself up and start again. I love the gift of life the Almighty has given me. Every single cell of mine is perfectly created by the Universe. Every single event in my life seems to be protected somehow. I don't know how to word it, maybe in another blog.
Since I fall in love easily that means I would fall out of love easily too. At-least is this not the law of the nature, "Every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction"?
- { Maybe it is infatuation.}
But one thing I know now is how much life has taught me about love, its meaning and how lonely it is to be missing romance in life. It took me years to understand and change myself. Make myself worthy to invite someone into my life. {Since I was not much trying to grasp the essence, the universe just did the job for me. }
As a younger person I had no clue what is love and what it is like to be loved. What it means to share love with another. I just thought like everything, it is a given. It's free. It's everywhere. Boy was I wrong!
I am compassionate and care for every living being. That has always been me. I do not believe I have permanently wished bad on anyone in my life. Yes when I get hurt I feel angry on the moment but I don't believe I ever hated the individual for long.
I knew from childhood I would do most everything for my sister. I don't think anyone would have dared to hurt her. If she would hurt I would hurt more than her. If there was anything bad I would rather have that than her. I always wanted and still wants the best for her and I am sure this will be me till my last breathe. Then came my daughter, the tiny helpless little creature laying by my side wrapped in white clothes looking at me with a wide eye, full of smile and need. Taking care of my child was the most difficult/confusing thing I have ever done. Guess I made it. She is 15 now.
My failed marriage taught me a lot in a very good way. This is what must have made me realize the meaning of romantic love, experience the feeling of loneliness and analyze the meaning of loving someone and to be loved. What it means to simply LOVE. Loving someone unconditionally yet with a condition to acknowledge my love. { Love to be gifted with paintings from my daughter. I would hate it if she spends money and gets me anything however expensive as a gift one day. Hopefully you will see this blog and always paint or give me 'your' creative things till I say goodbye here }
note: I am not there yet to give love unconditionally after all I am a human.
Being a mom may have added some more pages to my journey. As a parent it was only giving and in return you got a hug and smile but sometimes nothing but a satisfied kid or stubborn unsatisfied goon. Over the years this experience may have mellowed me a lot from what I used to be. I enjoy being a mom and would love one more of this little creature if I could.
In my entire life up to age 41 I have never loved anyone than my sister and my daughter. At this time as I write I can sadly but firmly say this. But these are my blood. My own. My world. I don't believe my mind ever realized that I love them. Never questioned it. But I just love them because of my actions followed by my words that confirms everyday to me, yes I truly love them. I mean, is it not a given you will generally love your blood?
Then came You out of nowhere. Jeans ok? Yeah?
Yes I say I love you because I do. But behind the scene I question myself because I want to be sure that I am meaning it well when I say those words and that, it is not my playfulness. I look through my words and the actions, sometimes I over analyze. Some of the things I do and say to you I have never ever done in my entire life and meaning it every bit while I do it even without me knowing it. I truly surprise myself when I do some of the things with no expectation of a return or say things not expecting a reply from you. I have never let my guard down nor have I let myself splurge on someone else than my sister and my kid once I started earning. So when I do that same to you I know I love you.
Is love enough? I don't know
The best is Knowing how to love and where it should originate from and how to take care of it and maintain it.
note: I know its a two way street else it will still be infatuation so keep your best friends - Eyes, Ears, Wisdom and Understanding close and let your heart lose and dance to the beat!!!
Love Jessa.
I live life with a passion. I love most things about my life.
My life at times sucks and I feel terrible and I may not know how to handle things at the moment. Then again I pick myself up and start again. I love the gift of life the Almighty has given me. Every single cell of mine is perfectly created by the Universe. Every single event in my life seems to be protected somehow. I don't know how to word it, maybe in another blog.
Since I fall in love easily that means I would fall out of love easily too. At-least is this not the law of the nature, "Every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction"?
- { Maybe it is infatuation.}
But one thing I know now is how much life has taught me about love, its meaning and how lonely it is to be missing romance in life. It took me years to understand and change myself. Make myself worthy to invite someone into my life. {Since I was not much trying to grasp the essence, the universe just did the job for me. }
As a younger person I had no clue what is love and what it is like to be loved. What it means to share love with another. I just thought like everything, it is a given. It's free. It's everywhere. Boy was I wrong!
I am compassionate and care for every living being. That has always been me. I do not believe I have permanently wished bad on anyone in my life. Yes when I get hurt I feel angry on the moment but I don't believe I ever hated the individual for long.
I knew from childhood I would do most everything for my sister. I don't think anyone would have dared to hurt her. If she would hurt I would hurt more than her. If there was anything bad I would rather have that than her. I always wanted and still wants the best for her and I am sure this will be me till my last breathe. Then came my daughter, the tiny helpless little creature laying by my side wrapped in white clothes looking at me with a wide eye, full of smile and need. Taking care of my child was the most difficult/confusing thing I have ever done. Guess I made it. She is 15 now.
My failed marriage taught me a lot in a very good way. This is what must have made me realize the meaning of romantic love, experience the feeling of loneliness and analyze the meaning of loving someone and to be loved. What it means to simply LOVE. Loving someone unconditionally yet with a condition to acknowledge my love. { Love to be gifted with paintings from my daughter. I would hate it if she spends money and gets me anything however expensive as a gift one day. Hopefully you will see this blog and always paint or give me 'your' creative things till I say goodbye here }
note: I am not there yet to give love unconditionally after all I am a human.
Being a mom may have added some more pages to my journey. As a parent it was only giving and in return you got a hug and smile but sometimes nothing but a satisfied kid or stubborn unsatisfied goon. Over the years this experience may have mellowed me a lot from what I used to be. I enjoy being a mom and would love one more of this little creature if I could.
In my entire life up to age 41 I have never loved anyone than my sister and my daughter. At this time as I write I can sadly but firmly say this. But these are my blood. My own. My world. I don't believe my mind ever realized that I love them. Never questioned it. But I just love them because of my actions followed by my words that confirms everyday to me, yes I truly love them. I mean, is it not a given you will generally love your blood?
Then came You out of nowhere. Jeans ok? Yeah?
Yes I say I love you because I do. But behind the scene I question myself because I want to be sure that I am meaning it well when I say those words and that, it is not my playfulness. I look through my words and the actions, sometimes I over analyze. Some of the things I do and say to you I have never ever done in my entire life and meaning it every bit while I do it even without me knowing it. I truly surprise myself when I do some of the things with no expectation of a return or say things not expecting a reply from you. I have never let my guard down nor have I let myself splurge on someone else than my sister and my kid once I started earning. So when I do that same to you I know I love you.
Is love enough? I don't know
The best is Knowing how to love and where it should originate from and how to take care of it and maintain it.
note: I know its a two way street else it will still be infatuation so keep your best friends - Eyes, Ears, Wisdom and Understanding close and let your heart lose and dance to the beat!!!
Love Jessa.
