a Scrap

how we struggle to survive. I was looking around in my office. I see a lot things. Its new to me because of a lie. Since I work in USA, I work along with whites, Blacks and ofcourse us (I am a pure bred Indian. I was closely watching the scenario and seeing how much people do to please these whites to retain job. What all we do !ya its not bread and milk, its cold sweat that flows everyday like blood to keep our jobs intact. Noone know how long you are there in the seat. As long as we can we try. For that we will do anything. There are no genuine person out there, including me.
When I was younger..life was black and white for me but now I see that there are in between colors too.
I was against dowry but now I know without that there is no going about( atleast in Indian community). I know you are going to be offended by this but I mean it. Dowry does not mean the money that is given during marriage but there is a lot more to it. If I am from a poor family, I have an illness, I have a pimple-I am not worthy to be your bride. See this is also dowry. I used to say "I wont marry a man who ask dowry". I never met one who did not ask dowry..literally. Some lucky ones did end up with those men. but not the others. These lucky girls will ask "Who said there are no men who wont ask dowry?". C'mon..open your eyes and look outside your well !

I believed "Yours is the world"..now I know I am part of the world. I have to be a Roman in Rome. any Philosophy against this, keep it in your pocket!. You have to face what life throws at you. Think the big picture. Some of us are lucky but. They get what they want in life. I have seen that. But others they have to struggle.
I thought " Where there is a will there is a way". Now I know many of us will but way is very difficult. See the idiom applies only for brilliant kids in school...not all of us are rank holders, it applies to skilled workers..not all of us have that much skill.
Slowly life is passing by. I am 32 now. Life moves so fast. I feel it was yesterday that I was in school and college but its not. I learned a lot. But I cant go back apply the learned formula again in my youth. I will learn new things when I get old but I dont know where I will apply.
I learned one thing though that makes sense..lives lessons are just lessons learned. Very few of us get to apply it again.So just go with the flow.
I dont know where I am going with this blog...

Are you the MOTHER ?

I havent keyed anything lately. I was talking to my college friend Visu and then he said "Jessa I was going throught your Blog....". It is then I realised I havent written anything lately.
So many things to write. Happenings in life are like waterfall from all around you, dont know from where to start.
I have to confess, I hate lying. Just hate it. In life I have lied twice. Atleast, thats all I can remember. Both the times to survive. Not to hurt anyone or take away anything from anyone. Just to survive.
You know, just as I have mentioned in my other blog, life is full of ups and downs. It is more downs when you dont have direction in life.
I am writing this mainly for you and me, esp if you are a parent like me. You are lucky if you had a wonderful upbringing. But if you didnt and is like me who had to struggle all through life then join the club.
I keep telling myself.."what happened to me should not happen to my kid". You know, I had no one to give me directions when I was growing up. Because of which even today I am learning the maps. I had to take the twist and turns in raw sense. I was a very bright kid with a lot of potential(I am not boasting)but didnt know how to use it. There was no one to show me the way. I was good in singing, talent was discouraged. I was good in dancing, dancing was for Hindus (I respect all religion and beleive there is only one God)or for Micheal Jackson. I was a good athlete, but sports was shunned. I did not have any basics in subject(school) and had no one to train me (a kid needs to be taught A B C). I got lost in the traffic.
Our kids should'nt have to go through what we went through. They need direction. We need to learn from our mistakes and injuries, and teach them so that they will have a better life.
It easy to destroy a life but very difficult to give life.
Woman, carrying your child nine months is a very easy task but making a successful person out of your child makes you the MOTHER.